No, I am not okay. I am having a crappy day. That is what I want to say. I don’t. I hold it in. It seems like lots people that are around me are having a crappier day. So, I let it go.
Here’s what I hear. People I care about life’s struggles. One loved one has a cancerous Melanoma and is going to lose her finger. One sweet friend’s husband left her. He told her after he packed all his belongings and was on the road by calling her. A few of Jack’s buddies are having dietary issues and their parents aren’t getting timely answers. Meanwhile, the tiny tots suffer. Stories of kidney stones, gout, financial issues, and loss are sent to me thru texts, emails, and phone calls.
This is my today. I am drowning in my coffee. I have had a nugget of sleep because both of the littles are sick. The dog got up in the middle of the night and rummaged thru the diaper pail. She chewed up dirty diapers and scattered them everywhere in the twins room. I had to clean that and scrub the twins carpet this morning while they ate breakfast. They feed themselves. So, I had to bathe them, they needed fresh clothes, and I had to scrub their highchairs and the floor under them because they threw half of it on the floor. Something in my house reeks and I can’t find it. Evan ransacked the book shelf with his books and my childhood Little Golden books. The television remote has been missing for a week now. Jack broke my Jadeite mug. One of them poured the kibble into Claire Belle’s water. It is just lunchtime. I have not had an adult conversation in a week. My struggles today are hectic and minor, but they are mine and real.