Time again for another hysteroscopy. My body decided to shut down during the transplant procedure so the doctor said we would do hysteroscopy. I have dreaded it since the moment he uttered the words.
The word hysteroscopy sounds scary, right? It is a procedure using an instrument using a hystroscope. It is like a thin slender light wand with a camera used to see into the linings of your uterus and endometrium. It requires anesthesia. Well, the procedure is itself is not horrible, but all the variables and unknowns drives me up the walls. I don’t feel like I can handle any more bad news. My heart wants healing and a baby badly.
My body hurts. It hurts on the inside. It is not like regular cramps. Steel rods were inserted to dilate me to allow for open pathway for another transplant opportunity. There was a pesky polyp that had to be removed. And, now I have stitches. I want to curl up and stay in bed for days. It hurts on the outside. I feel like my skin is stretched out. My body is tender to touches. It hurts to have my clothes on. Being in a sitting position for a long period of time hurts too.
It is another unexpected cost. It is required to be paid ahead of time. And, the anesthetist has to be paid too. This was not in our budget either.
You would think that I could relax and settle after it was over, but nope. I can’t. My brain is on overload. That pesky polyp has to be biopsied and here is another concern for me. I have a follow up next week. Ugh. Positive thoughts until then, right?!
I’ve prayed. Joe has prayed. I will continue to pray. Joe will too. This is just another part of my journey.