I am pretty sure your Moma (insert whoever your authority figure was) told you something like, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything”. I wish some adults would apply that to their lives. Or if she heard you saying something you shouldn’t be saying she said something like, “Zip your lip.” As adults you shouldn’t need anyone to edit your words. You know better. You know words do hurt.
I work as a clerk for a few judges. My desk is near the lobby of the law enforcement center. I hear talk all day. People are reporting crimes, families are waiting to see loved ones for jail visitation, and folks are waiting for their turn in the court room. Recently, I overheard a conversation that truly made my heart hurt.
A lady came in and her hair was styled in a basic pony tail. I heard something like “She would be cute if she did something with her hair.” Another lady came in with a cute trendy dress and age appropriate. I heard something like, “That would look better if she lost some of that weight. She should not be wearing that at her size. She would be beautiful if she got skinnier.”
I have a scar on my face from a car accident. I’ve been asked if I have ever considered cosmetic surgery. My answer is no. I should have died in that wreck and I only have two scars. That question hurts me. I know it isn’t pretty, but it isn’t gnarly. Why focus on my scar? Why should I have surgery to make someone else happy? It is my badge of survival.
As a woman I know the struggles with self esteem and self acceptance. Meeting all the standards of the world is impossible. I have to accept me. I am not beautiful. I don’t claim to be. I wear what I like. I wear what makes me feel good. Maybe, those innocent ladies that were being judged don’t either. I see it as the first lady with the pony tail did take time to comb her hair; she just chose a simple style. The lady with the trendy dress chose a dress that she liked for her. They were in public without hair nets, scarves, or curlers. They were in public without pajamas, underwear not hanging out and dressed in their size clothing.
Wear what you want with confidence. Style your hair as you want. Be happy. This world has lots of mean in it. Don’t let the mean come from your mouth. Share a smile. Give a compliment. Be judgment free. Zip your own lip!